The Elf and the Devil

by *Valedhelven

     Once upon a time, there was a simple Elf maiden who, against the prohibitions of her kind, went in search of the world of men. She was intrigued by the stories of the human creatures – tales of wonder and intrigue, of beauty and corruption, power and poverty - all interwoven into one ephemeral race. So, foolish as it was, she ventured forth, all alone, from the safety of her own realm and into the woodlands that separated the Faerie Realm from the Mundane Lands.

     Yet she did not remain so for long…

     Having warily approached what appeared to be an abandoned human encampment, the elf maiden found herself suddenly ensnared in a concealed netting of unfamiliar origin. And struggle though she might, she was caught fast. Her captors, rough and strange to her, gathered up their prize and locked her securely in the back of a small metallic cell without any openings to the outside world. The cell soon began to shake and bump as if it was being tossed about by a giant, yet she was not afraid. It was an adventure, and for better or worse, she would see it through to the end – even if that end meant coming face-to-face with a real giant.

     But it was not a giant at all with which she found herself confronted when she was finally released from her cell. Far from it! Instead, she was ushered into an ugly stone structure, into a dirty room, and dumped unceremoniously onto a bench of sorts, whereupon a garishly dressed little devil hopped up next to her and gleefully regarded his prize..."

     "Come, come," said the little devil to the wide-eyed and curious Elf maiden, "I have something to show you..." and he lead her down a narrow corridor in the ugly little building and into another room.

     "Behold," he said, indicating what appeared to be several exquisite paintings upon the wall, each ornately framed and each one depicting another of her kind. "These are but a sampling of those who have ventured forth from your realm before you, and each one I have graciously helped to fulfill their own particular quest in this glorious world. And not just Elves, my dear, but many other creatures, too, have passed through these doors and found their own particular niche, many of them in theatre or film.

     "And I can do the same for you as well, my dear," the little devil said with a wicked little smile, "if you will only allow me to help you. When we get to my office, remind me to show you the photos of the latest talent I have found," he continued in his soothing, reassuring manner. "I'm certain that it will set your mind at ease…"

     "Look here, doll face – see? Movie contracts, merchandising contracts, modeling contracts – you can have it all, so long as you've signed the right contract. I've represented the best of the best, and from all walks of life, too – elves and drow, fairies, giantesses and demonesses, the occasional centauress, and even a harpy and a gorgon – no one is turned away if they've got what it takes, and babycakes, you've definitely got what it takes.

     "You see, your kind have been wandering here to the Mundane Realm for centuries upon centuries, looking for that one thing that you cannot seem to find in your pristine, idyllic little Faerie world. Oh, sure – you've already got peace and harmony and all of that rot, yet still there's a seed of discontent within your spirit, something small and seemingly insignificant when it first makes itself known, but it's persistent, and it won't leave you alone until you've touched it, or tasted it, or experienced it or achieved it…

     "'And what is it,' you ask? It's different for each of you, but it's always something: fame, power, passion, whatever … and sugar lips, I'm just the guy to make it all happen…"

     "You're interested, I see," said the little Devil with a lusty gleam in his eye. "Good, good, my dear! But before you rush into anything that you might regret later, why don't we head down to wardrobe and makeup and see just what some of your options are, shall we?"

     Within a scant few hours, the Elf maiden had been fitted for several different outfits of various materials that were foreign to her, with strange names like "taffeta" and "chintz," "latex" and "nylon," but also "leather" and "silk" and others more familiar to her. In addition, there were other little devils and she-devils present to measure every inch of her delicate body, and yet others whose job it was to paint her hair different colors and pierce her with jewelry in all sorts of places that she'd never imagined piercing. She watched in the mirror as she was transformed into something completely new.

     She wasn't sure how she felt about all of this, however. While she adored the attention and all the primping and preening and fuss, still there was a part of her that longed for the simplicity of the life she had so recently left behind. Could she still go back, she wondered to herself? Would she want to? Her home had seemed so dreary and lacking excitement, and this foreign place seemed so new and fresh and alive, with such tempting experiences, things to see and do that she had never even imagined possible. But...

     "Of course, this is but a sampling of what wonders await you, my dear," the little Devil said to her, sensing the wavering spirit within her and not wanting to lose the potential that now sat before him. "These little trifles are nothing compared to the attention and glamour that can be yours! Just imagine it – your name up in lights, your face the envy of the others you've seen here today, your body the object of every man's desire, and of not a few women as well, I suspect.

     "And it is yours for the price of one little signature, right here on the line by the little red X…"

     Well, sign it she did, for after all her hesitation and indecision, she was really quite enamored with all of the lights and attention... and such things can make otherwise very sensible Elf maidens do some very foolish things...

     "Besides," she said to herself as she took the strange looking quill from the even stranger little man and inscribed the contract with her delicate signature. "I have come all this way, and though I know that others have gone before me and never returned, why should that necessarily be my fate as well? For I am a clever girl, and he is just a funny little man in a very tacky suit, after all! I shall enjoy all that this world has to offer me, and then I shall return home should I tire of it all."

     Time passed, and the Elf girl was swept up in a flurry of things with strange names, like "photo shoots" and "films," "commercials" and "endorsements." Lights were ever in her eyes, and there was the never-ending variety of clothing and costumes, sometimes thrown on her and sometimes ripped off of her by a crew of she-devils, faster than she could seem to keep track, while other little she-devils painted her face and body with beautiful colors, and sprayed her with wonderful scents, and bedecked her with such dazzling jewelry and gemstones of every conceivable sort.

     There was really nothing at all that was denied her, save one thing in all the world: she was never allowed to take any photos herself, and she found this to be curious. She was occasionally given a camera to hold, as she was any number of other props, yet the little devil's shiny red camera was off limits.

     And, as is often the case when one is denied something that one is infinitely curious about, the Elf simply could not think of anything else…

     However (for all good second-to-last parts of anything start with "however…" ), as one might expect, after experiencing all that her heart could desire in this Mundane realm, the Elf maiden sat in her room one day, all alone, looking over the so-called accomplishments of her so-called success and wondered what she had really attained through it all.

     "I have everything I could have ever dreamed of," she said to herself. "I have fame and fortune, certainly, along with the power to turn heads wherever I go and the beauty to back it up. I have a swarm of she-devils at my beck and call - to dress and undress me as I desire, to provide for my every whim, and anything at all that any sensible Elf girl could want.

     "And yet (for all good stories contain an "and yet" somewhere near the end… ), something is missing. Is it happiness? Is it love? Is it family and friends? Is it companionship? Purpose? Integrity? Dignity and self-respect?

     "The little red camera…?" she mused. "No, that's silly – why should that make any difference at all!"

     And yet, that was all she could think of: the little devil's special red camera, the one he used to sake all of his photos of her and all the other before her. What was so special about it? Suddenly she found that she wanted it, that she simply had to have it, to know its secrets, to understand what it was about it that made it so special to the little devil…

     She again considered the various photos of herself strewn about the bed. And she was suddenly conscious of her nakedness – which was something that had never bothered her or any of her kind before in the slightest. But now made her feel something new altogether, something unexpected…

     But what?…

     As our Elven heroine sat there pondering her past, present and future, and having in no way decided whether or not to stay in this Mundane Realm or return to her Faerie homeland, her musings were interrupted quite unexpectedly by the arrival of her elder sister. Our heroine had very mixed feelings about this unforeseen turn of events. Her sister, on the other hand, did not. She was furious.

     "HERE you are! Do you have any idea how long I have been searching for you?? Mother and father have been worried sick, not to mention the fact that the entire kingdom had been hunting for you, fearing the worst. No one dreamed that it would be this bad! And you call yourself a princess – pffffffffft! Of all the gnome-headed, foolish things to do…" her sister shouted, shaking her younger sibling by the shoulders and demanding an explanation.…

     So explain she did, and her elder sibling's eyes softened as she related her tale, relieved to have found her baby sister after all this time, in spite of her initial gruff reaction. For kinship is very important to the Elves, and there was really very little point in staying angry with someone who you love so very much.

     "But what of the little red devil, and his fiendish camera?" inquired the younger Elf maid. "And what are we to do about the contract I signed?" Suddenly, she felt as if her hopes of returning home were being closed off again, and that she really would have no choice in the matter, for a contract is a contract in any Realm, and she had, indeed, signed it.

      "Nonsense," her sister said confidently, taking her by the hand and exiting the room. They made their way down the hall to the little devil's office and barged in while the she-devil receptionist whined about needing to be announced.

     The devil turned several shades paler when he saw the icy glare of the elder Elf sister as the two entered the room. However, being ever the opportunist, his smile returned just as quickly.

     "Do come in!" he said in his most charming manner, reaching for his camera. "What can I do for you, my dear?"

     By way of an answer, the elder sister picked the little devil up by the scruff of his neck , camera and all, and carried him unceremoniously out of the room, down the hall, through the main entrance, and outside, making her way back home.

     "But… but… this is outrageous!" the little devil screamed, his face nearly as red as his suit as he realized what was happening. "I have a signed contract! You cannot do this – I have her soul!"

     At this, the elder sister stopped, regarding the devil for a moment. Spying a bench in a nearby cemetery, the elder sister strung him up by the leg (because, as everyone knows, there is always rope nearby when you need it… ) and relieved him of his precious little red camera.

     "Allow me to explain to you what I can and cannot do," she said grinning icily at the helpless little creature. "First of all, even in your Realm, contracts signed by a minor are null and void…"

     "But..." sputtered the little devil.

     "Secondly," the formidable Elf continued, "Elves have no soul – they are spirit, as anyone who has ever tried to resurrect one according to 2nd edition AD&D rules would know, so your little Soularoid camera is useless on our kind…"

      "But… but…"

     "And finally, but most importantly," she continued, "once my little sister is quite through shedding these repulsive garments you've draped on her, we shall be leaving, and you are in no position to stop us. Oh, and I will be taking your camera with me, if you don't mind… although I wonder what would happen if I used it on you first?"